Why you should stop putting off (or completely denying yourself) that overseas adventure

Now, before I start: If you don't have any interest at all in leaving your job and your life to travel or live abroad, but have just clicked on this link to see what it is that I'm going to say to try to convince you to do it - you can stop reading now. I'm not aiming this at you and will not try to convince you to do something you don't believe is right for you. Travel away from home and family is not right for everyone, and that's totally fine. This is directed at those who it is right for, but who, for whatever reason, don't yet feel confident enough or comfortable with the idea of packing up and saying goodbye for a while, and just can't bring themselves to do it. I'm aiming this at the people who tell me I'm so "lucky" to be able to do this and that they wish they could do it. 

Guess what? You can!

Only a small part of it is luck for me, and that is having the privilege to have been born and raised in a country in which the economics have made it possible for me to earn enough money to enable travelling.* I am also lucky to have been born into a society, family and culture where it's acceptable and encouraged to travel, and where I am even often praised for doing it alone and being adventurous. (I know that some people's cultures and/or families place a lot of pressure on them to stay at home, and it can be extremely difficult to leave in circumstances such as that. Whilst I will certainly encourage them to go, I am not going to even try to address something I haven't personally experienced. This is aimed at those coming from the same or similar situation as me.)

I completely appreciate that doing what I do is just not a possible reality for the vast majority of people in our world, who are struggling just to live a healthy life, and that is part of my motivation to also make a positive difference in the world as well (more on that another time). But most of the people who tell me I'm "lucky" to be able to quit my job and go abroad for indefinite periods are people from my home or are otherwise from similar privileged societies and circumstances. So they have that same advantage, and those are the people to whom this post is directed.

The rest is not luck at all - I make it happen! In fact, I have worked very very hard for it - to earn the money, and also to take the risks to go - so for people to reduce it down to luck is actually pretty belittling. But I never take it that way since I know that sometimes it can be more about that person's own self-limitations, such as lack of confidence, or a reflection of their own interpretation of what society requires of them (which apparently isn't imposed on me or my fellow travellers - by sheer luck of course), or it's just a poor choice of words when they really just want to say that they're happy or excited for me. 

So, if you think it's because of luck that I don't have such pressures on me; or it's luck that makes me good at living on a budget and saving money; or if you appreciate that it's not luck but still feel like you have things tying you down; then what I want to say to you, is firstly to have a good think and reassess your priorities. What are the excuses you tell yourself or others to justify not packing up your things? Some of the most common ones I hear are below, along with my response.

The career progression excuse

Perhaps although you would like to travel, you feel it's more important to advance your career, and you worry that by leaving now you will jeopardise your position later in life. Well actually as I'm sure you've already heard, these days many employers highly value varied experiences including independent travel and time spent living in another country. There are a whole bunch of skills you learn from doing so and you just need to learn how to recognise them, appreciate them, and present them to employers (there's a whole range of other articles on the net addressing this very thing, so I won't go into it further - just Google them). Not to mention the language skills you can gain whilst living or travelling abroad, which are gaining more importance in our increasingly global society.

So most likely the worst thing that's going to happen professionally from taking a year off, is that you'll be a year behind "schedule". Well, a year is not very much in the scheme of things. And depending on your career choice, it's probably only going to get harder to take that year out the further down the track you go, and taking a year off will never again be as easy as it is now. So do it now!

The "I'm saving for a house" excuse

Maybe you want to save up money to buy a house. Yeah sure, another common one. In this terrible property market we have right now, who wouldn't want to spend an inordinate amount of money to buy a house so that you're stuck with mortgage repayments for the rest of your life. I jest.

A little.

I'm not saying don't aim to buy a house. Of course that's a great asset to have, and you'll be spending money on your own mortgage repayments rather than someone else's. I get that, and it makes sense. But also..

you can always do that after you get back! The houses will still be here, and who knows, they might even be cheaper in a year or 2 if the market crashes as some predict it will. The thing is, being abroad does not have to mean spending all your savings. You can choose how to spend your money when you're away, and there are a number of things you can do to make it not so expensive. Which means that if you are almost in a position to buy a house, you can still keep the bulk of those savings for when you return and go down the house buying route then. It's going to be much easier that way, rather than to be trying to pay off a mortgage while you're overseas and also property manage the tenants who don't actually pay as much rent as your mortgage repayments. Yes you probably won't be saving money while you're abroad, so again, you'll be pushed back a year or two behind "schedule". But again, not that much time in the scheme of things.

The "ok but I still can't save enough money" excuse

Particularly *if you are from the same privileged background as me / live in a country with a strong currency, then: yes you most certainly can! You don't even need to have a fantastically well paid job. It's just about reconsidering your priorities. If travel and living abroad is really something you want to do, then you might need to make sacrifices in other parts of your life. But it will be worth it.

I'll admit that the first time I packed up and left, I was in a very well paid job, particularly for my age, which made it very easy to live without sacrificing anything and still save. I was miserable in that job as I worked ridiculous hours under a lot of stress for something that had very little meaning for me. So I did something positive about it, and got out of it. But currently I am working part-time in a Not-for-Profit job (i.e. not at all well paid), with the rest of my time spent volunteering in another charity, and yet even though I live in the ridiculously expensive Sydney, I am still saving a very decent amount for my next trip.

How? I live in a cheap sharehouse (which I did get lucky to find as I happen to love it, but it's certainly low budget and the house is sometimes falling apart); I very rarely buy new clothes or other materialistic things; I rarely go out for expensive meals; and I don't take taxis unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't deny myself a good active life though and I do still spend money on things I want to: I do a lot of activities through the week, such as salsa classes; I regularly go out for meals and drinks with my friends (just not often at the expensive places); and I will spend the money to go on smaller trips or to do other experiences that I really want to do. But I am always conscious about what I am spending money on, and do it in the most cost-efficient way possible. I will also invest in expensive things that I really want, such as a new camera or computer, or good quality gear for my life and/or trip - but never without fully thinking it through to be sure it's the right decision for me.

I'm very lucky to be from Australia, where this is all possible to do reasonably easy. But if you are also from Australia or similar, then you have that same luck.* Yes Australia is a very expensive country to live in, I know; but our salaries are also quite high in comparison to much of the world, so it's always possible to cut back on some things and make the high wages worth even more.

Then, once I am away, I also do that on a budget, which helps my money last longer. More on this another time, but there are certainly ways you can travel on a budget, and/or you can work while you're away to either make money or even just to get free food and accommodation.

*I also happen to know many people from developing countries or otherwise have more challenging circumstances to save such money, but who have also travelled extensively and/or lived abroad. Regardless of their circumstances, I would certainly encourage everyone to properly consider whether it's possible for them once they rearrange priorities, though I'm certainly not going to pretend that it is going to be possible for everyone, or that I know anything about what it's like for people from different circumstances to me.

The "I'm too old for hostels and backpacks" excuse

Sorry to break it to you, but you're not getting any younger. Plenty of people of all ages travel. It's true that hostels are often dominated by those in their early-to-mid twenties, but not always. And in any case, often people in that age bracket who are travelling are just as mature, worldly and interesting as those older than them. It's not about age - it's about your mentality. If you want to stay in hostels and feel that you are sociable and young at heart to do so and get on well with other like minded people, then you will have a great time. Not only have I met many older people in hostels, but I have made great friends with people 10 years younger than me. Also, check reviews and pick your hostel wisely: don't choose a party hostel if you don't want to be surrounded by drunken monkeys; there are plenty of more chilled hostels out there - you can almost always find the vibe you're after.

If hostels are not your thing - fear not! There are plenty of other methods of finding accommodation for your travels - whether you want to stay in hotels, resorts, AirBnbs, Couchsurfing, other types of homestays, it's all possible! Whatever your thing is, it's not that difficult to look for accommodation that you will feel comfortable in.

And that goes for all aspects of travel really. Ok so you don't want to cart a backpack around - then take a wheely suitcase and take taxis so you don't need to walk far with your luggage.

And whenever you're feeling old, just remember that there are backpackers out there who are in their 80s and 90s! (Two examples are here and here.)

The "I don't know if I'll like it" excuse

Well that's an easy one. Just go and find out! If you don't like it then you can always go back home! Tell people you don't know how long you're going for, or just say a shorter time estimate than you actually think it might be, so that you never feel like you have to stay longer than you're happy with just because you told people you were going for a year. (I would argue that you shouldn't feel that way anyway, but it's common and natural to, so it's best just to work around it). 

But most importantly, you yourself should remember that it's only temporary (if you want it to be) - if it doesn't work out and you don't like it, you can always come home!! That's what I tell myself every time I leave, although as yet I've never actually come back just because of not being happy. I never tell people a set end date of when I'm coming back, because I have no idea myself! It all depends on what happens. Plans should only be rough guides anyway.

The "I don't have anyone to travel with" excuse

Most people who have travelled alone will tell you that they were actually almost never alone (unless they wanted to be). It is so easy to meet people when you're travelling, and indeed I've made some very close friends when travelling. If you're on your own, you're about 10 times more approachable than someone who already has a friend, so even if you're shy like me, don't worry: people will approach you! And eventually you will build up the courage to start approaching people yourself - because sometimes you just have to if you want to have a companion or get some tips from other travellers. An easy es to start a convo is always just by asking how long the person has been in that city/country - if it’s a while, ask them where they’ve been/what they’ve done and what they recommend for you - the conversation will flow from there!

By far the easiest way to meet other travellers is hanging out in hostels. Even if you don't want to stay in a dorm or shared room, most hostels these days have private rooms as well, or they might have a bar or cafe you can go to even if you're not staying at the hostel itself.  

But if hostels just aren't your thing, you can also easily meet other travellers by joining Free Walking Tours, excursions, etc, or even just approaching other travellers in the street or a cafe and starting a conversation. There are also a tonne of Facebook groups for backpackers in different countries and regions, and many people will post looking for travel buddies.

Either way - if you want to make friends while travelling, you can certainly do it. You might have to put a bit of effort in, and you might need to go outside your comfort zone, but it's almost certain you will be glad you did. If nothing else, you will have grown a bit more in yourself, and at best you will make new lifelong friends.

Yes it can be difficult to say goodbye to your new travel friends sometimes, knowing there is a good chance you will never see them again. Yes sometimes it's difficult having such a transient social life, with friendships constantly changing. But your solid friendships at home will still be there too, and in the meantime your life has been enriched by meeting so many other fascinating people.

The "been there, done that" excuse

If you've already travelled and/or lived abroad - fantastic!! If your previous experience/s satisfied your desires completely to the extent that you are now happy living in the one place you call home, taking just short trips using your annual leave days, and no longer finding yourself with itchy feet or craving a longer time abroad - then that is the life you should be living, and as I mentioned at the outset, this is not directed at you. But if you're still daydreaming about what other adventures you would have liked to have taken, then read on...

Most people who know me at least a little bit were excited for me by my news of going away again this year. Family, friends, colleagues, and fellow volunteers alike. Some of them acknowledge that they're selfishly sad because they want me to stay around and they'll miss me (and of course I'll miss them too), and some had fooled themselves into thinking that because I have stuck around for 2+ years this time that I wasn't going to leave again. But the vast majority still realise that this is something important to me and they share in my excitement for that. 

If they have doubts about whether or not they think I should do it, such as the types of excuses or reasons expressed within this post, for the most part they have not shared those with me. However, very occasionally I do get a negative reaction from someone, and I never quite know how to respond because, to me, negative thoughts about this topic are so irrational.

But the other day a guy I have known for quite a while (although granted we're not very close) said to me: "Are you not just trying to re-create what you've already done? When I think about spending another year overseas I just think it's never going to be as good as the first one." I was pretty shocked to have that reaction and actually thought it was pretty rude.

For one, well no, to me the trip I'm embarking on this time around is not at all the same as anything I've ever done before - yes I've lived abroad, and yes I've spent a year in Latin America travelling, but this time I'm going to countries I've never been to, and I'm planning to live in a Spanish speaking country and work in Spanish, neither of which I've ever really done before, not for more than a month in one place.

And two, even if I was repeating what I have previously done, or even if you look at it more broadly, as in spending an extended period overseas: so what? It will be my fourth time spending an extended time overseas and it gets better and I learn more about myself and the world every time. So what's wrong with doing more of that? I find his view quite negative and pessimistic actually, or at least narrow-minded: to think you couldn't get any more out of travelling/living abroad the second (or fourth) time around, when the world has so many amazing things to offer.

But I'm also not talking about nor advocating wandering around the world aimlessly your whole life, getting drunk and partying in different countries just for the fun of it. (And you'll find very few long-term travellers that are doing that). I'm talking about meaningful travel, that broadens your own horizons and helps your personal development, and also preferably done in a socially responsible way seeking to make a positive impact on the world you're exploring. If that is the kind of experience you're looking for, then I don't see any problem with doing it more than once.

The "looking for love" excuse

Maybe you don't care so much about career or house, but you want to stick around in one place to try to meet "the one". How lovely.

Or sad.

How long have you already been in the one place trying to meet them and haven't yet? Maybe they're actually also overseas and that's why you haven't met them yet! If you sit around waiting for another year or two hoping to meet them but then don't, won't you wish you had left earlier?

Or maybe it's more that you have already found them and they want to stay in your country rather than leaving with you to go away. Ok that's a toughie. Because long distance relationships are hard! And finding someone you really do connect with on such a level is also hard and can be rare. So sometimes you do need to make compromises for the sake of your relationship. This is a case by case situation, and only you can decide what's right for you on this one.

But my advice is to think, is this person the one you see yourself with in 5 to 10 years (and are you happy about that), and would they make a similar compromise for you? If the answer to all 3 questions is yes, then maybe you do need to stick around a bit longer for them, and try to convince them to go with you or to support you going by yourself for a while (independent travel is great, and even if it's for a shorter time period, getting through that distance could potentially make your relationship stronger. Or at least you will gain more independence and confidence in yourself!) 

The family and/or friends excuse

Maybe you're hesitant to leave because you want to be with your family and friends. Yes that's important, and these are getting harder to dispute. But I still will. Let's ignore for a moment all the amazing new family and friends you're gonna have from your time abroad, who will possibly come from all over the world. Let's focus on the ones you're leaving behind.

Yes, you will miss them and they will miss you, of course. But are they actually dependent on you right now? Because god forbid something awful should happen in the next couple of years and people actually do become dependent on you, such as someone close to you might become extremely ill and you need to care of them and/or their dependents, or someone dies and you might not have a care responsibility but you need to just be there for your other family members for emotional support. Both of these have happened to a few of my friends recently, and it got me thinking that those are the things that would actually really stop me from leaving. 

Or what if it's not someone else, but me that something happens to, and I become so paralysed or bedridden and can't travel anymore. Or I fall pregnant and have a baby, and, whilst not at all impossible, travel will become much harder and more expensive and I'll probably want to be with my family more than ever.

If any of these types of things happen, I'm not going to regret not having saved more for a house, or not working another year in my job to get me more ahead. I'm going to regret never having been to Cuba, and not living in Mexico. 

So I need to go while there isn't anything like that in my life that is actually really holding me here right now, and while I am actually free to go and explore. People might think that's a negative view, but it's not really. It's just being honest and open about what could happen, and making sure I live my dreams now and not put them off until they might be put off permanently. And if none of those things do happen then I still haven't lost anything by travelling and living my dreams now, and I can always continue to do so.

These are the reasons that I still know I need to go, even though for the first time that I'm in a job that I actually don't want to leave, and in a volunteer capacity I'm running a charity that I'm very passionate about and also don't want to leave, and I have amazing friends and a wonderful family that I love to spend time with. If I don't go now, if I put it off for another 6 or 12 months, then I will just keep doing that and never actually get anywhere (travel wise). Which isn't a bad thing, except that these are things I really want to do, and I will regret not doing them. 

...But what would you regret in 10 years time?

So, my advice is to think about what it is that you would regret in 10 years time. Would you regret not having paid off your HECS (or other university loan) debt yet, or not having bought your house earlier, or not having that promotion a couple of years earlier, or missing your friend's wedding or birthday, or a couple of years of your niece or nephew growing up. 

Yes, all of those maybe a little, maybe even a lot. But would you regret those the most? Or would you regret not having lived in another country and learnt another language, or not travelling on a shoestring and having met people from all around the world.

For me it's definitely the latter. If for you it's the former, then you have your answer - stay here and achieve your priority goals, and don't let anyone make you feel like you should be doing anything different even if they try really hard to convince you with articles like this. Always believe in yourself and do what's right in your heart, not what others tell you.

But if you are like me, and you would regret missing the travel and international part the most, and recognise that the other things will all still be here waiting for you, then you should leave your job now and just go. Tell them you'll be back at some point and would love to work there again (it's always good to keep your options open). Kiss your family and tell them you love them and that you'll be back, and that in the meantime you'll see them on Skype and Facebook, because our modern world allows us to stay connected all the time (unless you're headed to Cuba, that is). 

And GO!!